The most violating way to get silm…

Assurance: this entry is clean…

tho it was mon, i got up with a sense of unspeakable joy…tho i had a strenous dream tat cost me valuable sleep time…but yes, unspeakable joy cos my mom took half day…which meant tat i needn’t fight with her for “toilet time” when i got up at 7 this morn…

with the usual punctuality-minded state…i left my hse to take the train…only to find tat the trains have “disrupted themselves” in the east line…

so i thought…oh well…i’m a “Norther”…the “Easterlies” won’t affect me…so even if all the TV screens flashed the disruption msg n single-track-mindedly refrained frm flashing the number of minutes before the next train appeared…i calmly boarded the red line and headed along with its momentum to the West to change trains…

I’m guessing tat each part of the 2 train platforms at Jurong East are prob 6 to 7 metres long each, with a mid-line tat separate it…anw…it was pure shock as first sight when my train parked and i couldn’t find the platform…

i double-checked my eyes…n they were working perfectly well…tho i initially doubted…cos i saw a sea of bodies…standing motionlessly…covering more than 80% of the platform…of course, the bodies were tat of live ppl…n they weren’t exactly motionless…but were all squeezin themselves towards the other end of the platform…

i unwillingly joined them in their quest…half fearing tat i’ll be drowned in that sea of living skin…the other half tat i would be standing behind the yellow line…on the WRONG SIDE…

patience is a virtue…anger is a sin…silence is golden…stoning (as in staring into blank space) is effective…especially in this kind of situations…where u can’t decide if taking a bus would get u there faster…or if ur sch mates would break their habit n turn up early for the lab session this morn, pay attn, and then help explain to u wat to do when u get there…

n eventually, as u cling on ur stuff to prevent losing them, the mob pushes u into a train 20mins later, n flattens u so tat the mob behind tat mob could get in too…n u came up with the following conclusions:-

1. this is prob the worse train ride u ever taken…2. it may have been a wrong choice not to take the bus but then a bus might get jam on the road also, so no diff…3. the handle on ur giordano bag got overstressed along with u and broke…4. ur sch mates will be late anw since it’s their gold standard…5. despite being angry over all this and wanting to blame the train company on it, u just feel like sleeping…6. u r already 10 mins late for sch

thank God tat i had a bag to hold in my hand…………..i may be have gotten a violate slimming treatment…but least i keep myself clean…

Today’s MSN nick: Spys was exceptionally calm even tho she took 20mins to squeeze on MRT this morn, was late and spent 11 hrs in sch….

Everyone can kill a 6 foot man…

I really dislike my tongue…to the extent of saying “hate” instead of “dislike”, or even “daikirai!!!”…can’t believe wat i said today…so mean…so bad…my brain wasn’t in connection with the tongue….

it’s a bad habit…a really bad one… to say things off my tongue without thinking of the consequences tat persist after….i’m terrible with words…cos the moment they leave my body, they exhibit so much of dismay and sarcasm, only to let my mind regret having release the chains off them…

in some cases…ppl don’t really bothered wat i say…so i worry too much…n other cases I’m not bothered wat I say…but others are…so i worry too little…

i always feel i’m different…which is good since we are a race of unique and speciality…but i also feel different…cos i just can’t connect…sometimes it’s not of my interest to know if u looked stunning, or if u bought a new car, or if u just installed a new software onto ur PC…sometimes I do, cos i’m close enough to u to talk so…otherwise, i find it redundant…cos they all just sound like forced topics to continue a conversation with…

my mom always say…nthg gd to say, don’t say…to follow this principle would mean tat i won’t speak….up to 14hrs a day…excluding the 8 hrs of sleep n 2 hrs of serious business talk…make tat 22hrs…i don’t talk in my sleep…

i just don’t get it…ppl keeps getting upset with me…as if i always say things at the wrong time…others say the same things, but yet no one is upset with them…it’s just like the times tat ppl can get angry over minute things, while I can’t….

i always feel unfair when it comes to emotions, cos it seems tat ppl except me are permitted to express their emotions, and their close ones will simply cover over it, saying tat they are going thru a hard time….which makes me wonder why i’ve to bottle up mine so tat ppl won’t get affect by my sadness…cos wat joy can u have if everyone is moody or sad?…

i thnk God for a wise mother…a wise and understanding mom…who always speak of the wisdom tat we needn’t follow others…tat even if others are angry and express it so well, i needn’t do the same…n tat it won’t matter if i didn’t talk much, cos it probably just add more to my mystique (if i had any)…

i’m different, i noe…and i like being different, though sometimes i wished tat i could just blend in…perhaps to be accepted?…i don’t noe…anw…everyone has their own problems, who m i to speak of mine and then have u to hear it…

but if u’ve read thus far…i thank u for ur kind attn…

2008…leading to the next V day

i barely understand my mind sometimes, wait, most of the time…like now, when i’m overwhelmed with the sudden urge to do this entry in sch…with 20 over ppl staring behind my back…being the natives they r…Singaporeans being KPO…anw, that’s my POV…

I just finished the book Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman…courtesy of lender SaO, and i realised…woah, it’s been a long time since i completed a book…cos in my opinion, many books just get boring by page 57 or so…but i liked Anansi Boys, but not Anansi…the witty yet realistic form of human cum animal humor seems to appeal to me…of course, when i say realistic, i meant how a REAL person can imagine of diabolically evil or ridiculously —– stuff in interpreting ppl’s actions or contemplating their own set of actions…but it was definitely a fun read…i can’t wait to read the pre-sequel American Gods…SaO!!!!…lend me!!! pls!!!…

2008 speaks of stress…n a whole lot of workload…which naturally never would have existed if certain things were of certain proportions and kept within the new limits set up…then again, no one is tat square…for humans are animals that preferred NOT to live in a cage, and preferred TO rule over all other species, including their own………..i believe this is called “pride”, and this is apparently esp impt if u r Chinese…even if u just look like one and doesn’t speak the language, this is probably one hurdle u need to look out for…

anw…the opportunities given to the increased workload…i truly appreciate…for with increased age comes more responsibility (yes, yes, i had ppl laughing abt this)…but i just wish i wasn’t so tired or lazy at times, so that i can accomplish these things…

Ignite is starting anew…n my dear PT can’t keep up…according to KC, she made a promise but couldn’t keep it…nah, u can’t blame her, everyone makes new yr resolutions….resolutions are made to allow ppl to realise tat it’s a new yr, tat they can start things anew, and by or after valentine’s day, return to their mundane, usual self, which is exactly identical to the last 11 months of 2007…to summarise (for those who have yet to comprehend), resolutions don’t last…

there is one way to make resolutions last…not a guaranteed method but it works with some ppl…n tat is making promises to God…for after u make one, and not keep it, you’ll get the true feelin of guilt in u, and soon, u apologise and renew tat promise with Him…don’t be mistaken, I’m a culprit too myself…but i’ll work hard not to be one…

yes…valentine’s…u noe it’s coming…becos the arts fac is filled with large pink letters of V, stuck on a long roll of pink crepe paper with UHU glue, telling u how to order flowers for ur love ones at prices at least 10 times tat of the new GST rates……………and after looking at tat, u’ll vow to stay off chocolate till March, and tat if u wanted flowers, u’ll grow them instead of buy them…

In S’pore, guys get stressed during V’s day, since they are the ones having to plan tat special evening, fighting with one another for pairing seats in restaurants and movie theatres…honestly, it’s the day tat even man with money has no power…first come first serve basis…….however, in Japan, it’s slightly different, becos ,instead, the girls stress themselves on V day making choco for guys they r interested in…the guys basically sit back and wait…

btw…i went with my mom to confectionary shop tat sold items for baking n making desserts…n there was this shelf selling and teaching ppl how to make chocolates…it got me excite, then disappointed, cos my mom said we didn’t have a marble table top to stir the molten choco…darn, i so wanted to make sure……i guess the only consolation is tat i don’t have anyone to give to……??!!!